Kabins Fails to Get Settlement Sealed ...

Yesterday the show moved from federal court over to Judge Gonzalez's courtroom, where Mark Kabins was attempting to have news of his $800,000 settlement with Dr. Daniel Burkhead (the anesthesiologist Kabins tried to blame for his own malpractice) sealed.

So much for that.

Up to bat for Kabins was local attorney John Spilotro. John is one of the nicest and most intelligent attorneys we have ever seen in practice. His morals are impeccable, and he smells very nice. If you think we're going to say anything bad about him ... fogitaboutit.

You may recognize Spilotro as one of the floats from the original March of the Morons ... though we would never intentionally insinuate that he was a moron. Did we mention how nice he smells? Like potpourri, but more manly.

During his argument to seal, Spilotro stated that the outrageous coverage from Channel 8 in the Medical Mafia case has been so unfair that he would hate for the media to get their hands on the agreement. If that happened, argued Spilotro, it would surely be distorted to put his client in a poor light.

That argument sounds perfectly logical to us ... we'd hate to see Kabins' impeccable reputation tarnished.

Spilotro has apparently been unhappy with Channel 8's coverage of the Medical Mafia case; he referred to George Knapp in court as "that guy who talks to little green men."

Judge Gonzalez declined to seal the case and sent Spilotro and his client back to meet with Burkhead and his attorneys to see if they could come up with a settlement that Kabins wouldn't be embarrassed by. Nice job, Betsy.

Err ... we mean, what's your problem, judge?! Don't you know a good argument when you see it? You keep fightin' that good fight, John!

(LV Now; Thanks, Tipster!)

March of the Morons

You may recall Mark Kabins as the doctor from the Noel Gage saga whose lack of immunity led Judge Quackenbush to dismiss the case. Prosecutors refused to offer Kabins immunity because they had not yet decided whether to file charges against him. Well, it looks like they have made their decision.

George Knapp at LV Now witnessed the circus of PI attorneys that surrounded Kabins for his perp-walk from the federal courthouse after finding out about the eight-count indictment filed against him last Thursday. Knapp's depiction of the scene is priceless:

A couple of dozen lawyers from firms which have raked in tens of millions of dollars working with assorted medical mafia suspects, including Dr. Kabins, showed up to escort the Las Vegas surgeon after he entered his plea to fraud and conspiracy charges.

When they came out of the courthouse, they formed into sort of a phalanx around the doctor, in part to keep [reporters] away from him. They moved as one, almost like a military unit ...

As the Kabins posse moved down the sidewalk, the surly lawyers did their best to look like tough guys -- like hired goons sent to bust up the dockworkers union, except it's hard to look too tough when your nails are manicured and you're wearing $1,000 suits.

So, who were these "surley lawyers?" Exactly who you would expect:

A lot of them work for Robert Eglet, whose law firm made millions with Dr. Kabins and alleged medical fixer Howard Awand. Eglet once compared the federal investigation of crooked lawyers to the Nazi extermination of Jews.

One man pointing directions is lawyer John Spilotro, whose family name is well known in the history of the Las Vegas mob. John represented Rocco Lombardo, brother of Chicago mafia boss Joey the Clown.

Another braying victim of our lone cameraman is G. Dallas Horton, personal injury lawyer, who once sued a flower bed for causing a car accident.

Sounds like an all-star cast, a real "who's who" of daytime television cheesery. One has to wonder why Kabins has garnered such support from the legal "elite." Our (obvious) guess is that Kabins has enough dirt on these guys to get them all arrested and/or disbarred ... if he goes down, they all go down.

For those of you who don't practice personal injury or are unfamiliar with what it is medical "experts" do, they are just like regular doctors ... only the plaintiff's prognosis usually depends upon which side is paying. We know, it's hard to imagine how allegations of fraud could pervade such a system.

If you don't mind watching a commercial first, here is a video of Knapp's commentary and the lawyers' shenanigans (feel free to name any friends you recognize in the comments).

BONUS ROUND

We are offering 5 free WWL points to the reader who can identify this man*:

Contest over. Anon 10:02 has identified him as Jon Remmel of Mainor Eglet Cottle. Strangely, his profile has disappeared from the MEC site, but he is definitely pictured in the line-o-sharks (second from the left).

*(Please note: WWL points are redeemable only in-person at our Anchorage, Alaska store location. 500 points gets you a WWL collector's spoon.)

(LV Now; Thanks Anon 10:02)