Ed Bernstein v. G. Dallas Horton (2nd Round)--vote ends 7/18 at 5 pm

Something special for you in the tournament for this completely overheated Friday: the Man Known as "Ed" v. the Notorious B.I.G.

"Call Ed" Bernstein
Ed Bernstein certainly earned his top seed in the tournament. Bernstein is a media master with his face pasted in serious black and white billboards all around town, never ending "call Ed" commercials and hosting of Nevada's longest running television show, The Ed Bernstein Show. Doubt Ed's fame? Name another attorney in this tournament who's interviewed Bill Clinton, Al Gore, George Foreman, Randy "Macho Man" Savage and many other celebrities.

But media presence aside, we just love Bernstein's commercials. He's like that goofy uncle that just doesn't get how absurd he comes across. But while goofy as hell, you weirdly trust him. Okay, the voters may not have agreed with us when they voted to elect John "Slept with my Aide's Wife and Then Had the Husband Paid Off Not to Talk" Ensign to the U.S. Senate over uncle Ed (RJ), but we still can't help but find the guy trustworthy. Add that to the fact that Bernstein is one of the attorneys trying to find justice for the Hep-C infected [alleged] victims of Dr. "Needles" Desai (LV Sun), and he's definitely earned his top seed as a master marketer and tough litigator. Let's see if he's as tough as the flowerbed that once beat GDH.



G. Dallas Horton
The Notorious B.I.G. Dallas Horton (website available here) made his grand entrance to WWL in March of this year, when WWL reported about his apparent botanophobia and willingness to frivolously burden the Supreme Court of Nevada over a flowerbed. (post available here) In response to the posting, one person commented: “Anybody who takes a case like this is desperate and/or stupid,” while another said: “Even Dallas is smart enough to know this case had no merit.” Then, when WWL reported that Horton just recently took down an $8.9M judgment, more than a few posters jumped at the chance to undercut Horton’s involvement in the actual trial itself and lend credit to Bobbie Vannah [my personal favorite quote: “Horton is an asshole AND and idiot. Vannah's just an asshole.”]. (For additional insinuations against GDH and GDH's replies, check out his firm's entry on the RipOff Report) Even with the Ken-doll haircut and the spray on tanner, can G. get no love?? Apparently not.

G. Dallas does have a decent television advertising presence, but not many of his commercials have made it online. The only one we could find was on Crazy Motion (available here) and that ad just features gliding photographs of G. Dallas in earlier ads.

According to its website, G. Dallas Horton & Associates “is AV rated with an AV rated attorney” – an interesting boast given that martindale.com currently sizes Horton up as being only “BV-rated.” Apparently, Horton’s relatively recent raid on Lewis Brisbois (taking LBBS partner Dave Thomas & LBBS associate Christian Smith) and addition of long-timer Monte Hall, Esq. (Bar No. 239), to the mix have given G. the street cred to bolster his boasting.

[Final Writer’s Log: Despite extensive research, I have been unsuccessful in discovering what the “G.” stands for . . . Tony The Tiger says it’s “grrrrrrrrrreat,” but I’m not buying it.] [Update: Peoplefinder suggests the "G" is for "Gregory"]

Justice Injury Lawyers v. G. Dallas Horton (Round 1 continues)

by Beantown

Justice Injury Lawyers
“Injured? Get Justice” is just one of the many slogans splayed across the website for Justice Injury Lawyers; and anyone enjoying their nightly Family Guy in Las Vegas has no doubt seen at least one JIL commercial (while JIL’s website link to commercials appears to be down, at least ten different variations grace YouTube).

Here's our personal favorite:



Formed in 2007, JIL’s four currently managing partners are: Bradley S. Mainor, A Professional Corporation; Eglet & Eglet, A Professional Corporation; Robert M. Adams, A Professional Corporation; and Robert W. Cottle, Ltd. Oh yeah, and Robert T. Eglet is the Resident Agent. I wonder if JIL has any relation to some other attorneys in town?

When WWL reported the connection between JIL and Mainor Eglet Cottle as a “well known secret in the Vegas community” back in March ’08, one anonymous poster explained: “Mainor [Eglet Cottle] takes million dollar cases and the other firm [JIL] takes everything else.” In other words, JIL is the redneck love child the Med-Mal Goodfellas (known in the back alleys of Fourth Street as Bobbie T., Tracy E., Mr. Cottle-r, Bob “Tiny” Adams, and The Main-Man B-rad). No word on which one of them carried JIL to term, but top bets are on Tiny.

Did someone spill a 50 gallon vat of sulfuric acid on little Billy? What a shame – but don’t worry, Mainor Eglet Cottle will fight for you. Wait. You say it was only a Dixie Cup of hot chocolate? You’re one the wrong floor – 862-HELP is four levels down. Good luck.

G. Dallas Horton
The Notorious B.I.G. Dallas Horton (website available here) made his grand entrance to WWL in March of this year, when WWL reported about his apparent botanophobia and willingness to frivolously burden the Supreme Court of Nevada over a flowerbed. (post available here) In response to the posting, one person commented: “Anybody who takes a case like this is desperate and/or stupid,” while another said: “Even Dallas is smart enough to know this case had no merit.” Then, when WWL reported that Horton just recently took down an $8.9M judgment, more than a few posters jumped at the chance to undercut Horton’s involvement in the actual trial itself and lend credit to Bobbie Vannah [my personal favorite quote: “Horton is an asshole AND and idiot. Vannah's just an asshole.”]. (For additional insinuations against GDH and GDH's replies, check out his firm's entry on the RipOff Report) Even with the Ken-doll haircut and the spray on tanner, can G. get no love?? Apparently not.

G. Dallas does have a decent television advertising presence, but not many of his commercials have made it online. The only one we could find was on Crazy Motion (available here) and that ad just features gliding photographs of G. Dallas in earlier ads.

According to its website, G. Dallas Horton & Associates “is AV rated with an AV rated attorney” – an interesting boast given that martindale.com currently sizes Horton up as being only “BV-rated.” Apparently, Horton’s relatively recent raid on Lewis Brisbois (taking LBBS partner Dave Thomas & LBBS associate Christian Smith) and addition of long-timer Monte Hall, Esq. (Bar No. 239), to the mix have given G. the street cred to bolster his boasting.

[Final Writer’s Log: Despite extensive research, I have been unsuccessful in discovering what the “G.” stands for . . . Tony The Tiger says it’s “grrrrrrrrrreat,” but I’m not buying it.]

$8.9 Million Verdict and No Flowerbeds Were Harmed

G. Dallas Horton (with the help of Robert Vannah) must have known his match-up in WWL's Tournament of Billboard/Television Vegas law firms was next week. How else do you explain Mr. Horton's client receiving an $8.9 million judgment one week before Mr. Horton's firm is up for the vote.

The RJ reports that the award was issued from the bench by District Judge James Bixler. The judge cited that the plaintiff "will require periodic medical pain relieving procedures to control pain in her back, which will continue throughout the plaintiff's life due to the permanency of her condition."

$8.9 million for a 43 yr old woman's periodic pain. Well done, Mr. Horton. You didn't even have to sue inanimate plant life.

G. Dallas Horton Flowerbed Suit

A few of you have inquired about the G. Dallas Horton lawsuit mentioned in our March of the Morons post. While GDH didn't exactly "sue a flowerbed," the suit was quite ridiculous. The full opinion is available here (PDF link), but if you don't have time to read a 12-page opinion (what else do you have to do if you're reading this blog), we will do our best to brief the case below, law school-style:

Issue: Do homeowners have a duty to warn passing motorists if they have constructed a flowerbed on the other side of their wall?

Facts: Plaintiff was a passenger in a vehicle traveling 75 MPH in a 25 MPH zone. The vehicle ran a stop sign, lost control, and slammed into Defendant's cinder block wall. Defendant had constructed a flowerbed abutting the cinder block wall at the exact spot where Plaintiff's vehicle impacted the wall. Plaintiff sustained injuries that were worse than they would have been if the flowerbed was not there. Plaintiff claimed that said flowerbed made the wall into a "death trap." Plaintiff sued defendant for (1) negligently building the flowerbed, (2) failing to warn her of said flowerbed, and (3) negligence per se for building the flowerbed in a manner that violated the building code.

Procedural Posture: Appeal to the Supremes from the granting of a MSJ in favor of Defendant by (then) District Court Judge Michael Cherry.

Holding: What are you, stupid? Affirmed. No duty owed. Oh, and by the way, make that Judge a Justice.

The opinion itself (apart from the facts) is a bit of a yawner. It could have been so much better if our Justices had the slightest sense of humor. Instead, we get a 12-page lesson on duties owed; which, of course, didn't get published.

Quick poll: (1) How many of you plaintiff's attorneys (aspiring or currently practicing) would have taken this case? (2) If you would have taken it, would you have gone forward with the appeal as well? Let us know in the comments.

(Commongood.org)

March of the Morons

You may recall Mark Kabins as the doctor from the Noel Gage saga whose lack of immunity led Judge Quackenbush to dismiss the case. Prosecutors refused to offer Kabins immunity because they had not yet decided whether to file charges against him. Well, it looks like they have made their decision.

George Knapp at LV Now witnessed the circus of PI attorneys that surrounded Kabins for his perp-walk from the federal courthouse after finding out about the eight-count indictment filed against him last Thursday. Knapp's depiction of the scene is priceless:

A couple of dozen lawyers from firms which have raked in tens of millions of dollars working with assorted medical mafia suspects, including Dr. Kabins, showed up to escort the Las Vegas surgeon after he entered his plea to fraud and conspiracy charges.

When they came out of the courthouse, they formed into sort of a phalanx around the doctor, in part to keep [reporters] away from him. They moved as one, almost like a military unit ...

As the Kabins posse moved down the sidewalk, the surly lawyers did their best to look like tough guys -- like hired goons sent to bust up the dockworkers union, except it's hard to look too tough when your nails are manicured and you're wearing $1,000 suits.

So, who were these "surley lawyers?" Exactly who you would expect:

A lot of them work for Robert Eglet, whose law firm made millions with Dr. Kabins and alleged medical fixer Howard Awand. Eglet once compared the federal investigation of crooked lawyers to the Nazi extermination of Jews.

One man pointing directions is lawyer John Spilotro, whose family name is well known in the history of the Las Vegas mob. John represented Rocco Lombardo, brother of Chicago mafia boss Joey the Clown.

Another braying victim of our lone cameraman is G. Dallas Horton, personal injury lawyer, who once sued a flower bed for causing a car accident.

Sounds like an all-star cast, a real "who's who" of daytime television cheesery. One has to wonder why Kabins has garnered such support from the legal "elite." Our (obvious) guess is that Kabins has enough dirt on these guys to get them all arrested and/or disbarred ... if he goes down, they all go down.

For those of you who don't practice personal injury or are unfamiliar with what it is medical "experts" do, they are just like regular doctors ... only the plaintiff's prognosis usually depends upon which side is paying. We know, it's hard to imagine how allegations of fraud could pervade such a system.

If you don't mind watching a commercial first, here is a video of Knapp's commentary and the lawyers' shenanigans (feel free to name any friends you recognize in the comments).

BONUS ROUND

We are offering 5 free WWL points to the reader who can identify this man*:

Contest over. Anon 10:02 has identified him as Jon Remmel of Mainor Eglet Cottle. Strangely, his profile has disappeared from the MEC site, but he is definitely pictured in the line-o-sharks (second from the left).

*(Please note: WWL points are redeemable only in-person at our Anchorage, Alaska store location. 500 points gets you a WWL collector's spoon.)

(LV Now; Thanks Anon 10:02)