What is the opposite of a "happy ending?"

The great Jane Ann Morrison over at the RJ busted two District Court Judges for using jury deliberation rooms as their own private massage parlors. The judges in question are Elissa Cadish and Susan Johnson. From Morrison's blog:

Cadish was the instigator. She said her former law firm let a massage therapist visit the law office for the convenience of employees. About a year ago, she contacted him and he started coming up on Fridays, setting up his massage bench in the jury deliberation room and offering massages for a dollar a minute like the ones at the mall.

Damn. Hale Lane hires massage therapists for the convenience of their employees? Nice!

The judges were just getting upper body massages, no nudity involved, but Chief Judge T. Arthur Ritchie, Jr. (again, the most pretentious name on the bench) thought that the public perception of the massages may be a problem. Thus, Judge Ritchie has asked that if the judges insist on continuing with the massages, they have them done in their private chambers. Yeah, that should help with perception.

(LVRJ; Thanks to everyone who sent this in)

Valley Layoff Watch, Part 3

Yes, that's right, we have back-to-back Layoff Watch posts, and this time there are actual layoffs to report. The culprit is Santoro Driggs Walch Kearney Holley & Thompson who, according to our math, has recently cut loose 5 4 people. From our anonymous tipster:

3 people have left Santoro Driggs in the past few days. Two have left on their own accord, but the rumor is they are just running in front of the broom. Two others were let go. The two that were let go may or may not have been given a period of time to try and find new jobs before they are officially taken off the payroll.

Yikes! Sounds like trouble. We wonder if these cuts are related to the rumored layoffs we heard about back in February.

UPDATE

We've received clarification that there were only 4 associates involved, not 5.

(Thanks, Anon)

Valley Layoff Watch, Part 2.9

We're still not sure what to call these quasi-cutbacks; they are not quite layoffs, but they certainly are not good news for the job market. Regardless, we have received more bad news. 

The local office of national firm Ballard Spahr Andrews & Ingersoll (which acquired Curran and Parry about two years ago to establish its valley presence) has delayed the start dates for its newly-hired associates until Fall of 2010. No word on whether the associates were offered a "Latham" ... but we seriously doubt it.

This comes as a bit of a shock to us, because at this time last year the firm was boasting that profits were up 15 percent, totaling $280 million for 2007. Additionally, the firm had established one of the best associate pay scales in the valley, starting its first-year associates at $133,000 (remember ... back when "Magic Numbers" used to matter).

We understand that these firms are running a business, but isn't this a little late in the game to be calling audibles? 

If you thought Noel Gage was bad before ...

Brace yourselves ... despite the grief we gave Noel Gage for his Medical Mafia antics, we never thought he would stoop this low.

That's right, in addition to being an (alleged) ethically corrupt attorney, Noel Gage is ... a water waster! Mr. Gage is ranked 73rd on the RJ's list of the 100 most prolific water wasters in the valley. Strangely, it seems to be a ranking of the 100 richest people in the valley as well ... go figure.

The list is a pretty interesting read, if not a bit Orwellian. The accompanying story even includes a map showing the location of all the water-wasters' homes, as well as satellite imagery of the top 10's palatial estates.

To be fair, George Bochanis beat Gage by a mile, coming in at number 43 and using 420,000 gallons more than Gage. Our friend Sheldon Adelson is also on there at number 79.

Lots-o-lawyers on that list, so let this be a lesson to all of you barrister millionaires: you can (allegedly) pay off all the doctors you want, but don't you dare water your acreage more than 3-days a week ... or the RJ will show your clients where you live!

(LVRJ)

Can we just go back to using the old courthouse?

For those of you new to the area, here's a newsflash: the RJC is falling apart. Between the horrendous elevator situation and the sewer problem that is still being addressed, the building has had issues since being "completed" in 2005 (3 years behind schedule).

Another "issue" reared its head last Wednesday when a leak on the 3rd floor caused courthouse personnel to turn off the water to the building on floors 3 through 17. This, in turn, caused some problems with the bathrooms on those floors, from the LV Sun:

Jurors in trials on the upper floors looking for a bathroom break, for example, had to travel down to the lower levels. On some of the higher floors, people ignored the closed-bathroom signs and used them anyway, clogging up toilets.

Lovely. Screw higher education, let's find some money in the budget to give those janitors a raise.

(LV Sun)

G. Dallas Horton Flowerbed Suit

A few of you have inquired about the G. Dallas Horton lawsuit mentioned in our March of the Morons post. While GDH didn't exactly "sue a flowerbed," the suit was quite ridiculous. The full opinion is available here (PDF link), but if you don't have time to read a 12-page opinion (what else do you have to do if you're reading this blog), we will do our best to brief the case below, law school-style:

Issue: Do homeowners have a duty to warn passing motorists if they have constructed a flowerbed on the other side of their wall?

Facts: Plaintiff was a passenger in a vehicle traveling 75 MPH in a 25 MPH zone. The vehicle ran a stop sign, lost control, and slammed into Defendant's cinder block wall. Defendant had constructed a flowerbed abutting the cinder block wall at the exact spot where Plaintiff's vehicle impacted the wall. Plaintiff sustained injuries that were worse than they would have been if the flowerbed was not there. Plaintiff claimed that said flowerbed made the wall into a "death trap." Plaintiff sued defendant for (1) negligently building the flowerbed, (2) failing to warn her of said flowerbed, and (3) negligence per se for building the flowerbed in a manner that violated the building code.

Procedural Posture: Appeal to the Supremes from the granting of a MSJ in favor of Defendant by (then) District Court Judge Michael Cherry.

Holding: What are you, stupid? Affirmed. No duty owed. Oh, and by the way, make that Judge a Justice.

The opinion itself (apart from the facts) is a bit of a yawner. It could have been so much better if our Justices had the slightest sense of humor. Instead, we get a 12-page lesson on duties owed; which, of course, didn't get published.

Quick poll: (1) How many of you plaintiff's attorneys (aspiring or currently practicing) would have taken this case? (2) If you would have taken it, would you have gone forward with the appeal as well? Let us know in the comments.

(Commongood.org)

Ode to Terry Figliuzzi-Mosley Lady

Here at WWL, we love all of our commenters equally. However, as with children, we hold a special place in our hearts for some of you. One such person is a woman (we assume she is a woman) whom we have come to lovingly refer to as "Terry Figliuzzi-Mosley Lady," or TFML.

First, a little background:

TFML first reared her head last November when we posted about Judge Mosley's mess with his son, Michael Mosley, after Michael was involved in a car crash that resulted in a death. TFML was adamant from the beginning that Michael's problems were Terry Mosley's fault (or as TFML refers to her: "Terry Figliuzzi-Mosely").

We thought TFML would simmer down after the Mosley post got knocked down a few rungs, but we underestimated her. Although the Mosley story was originally posted on November 19, 2008, TFML has continued to comment on it regularly. Her last comment was posted as recently as March 17, 2009.

Perhaps the most endearing thing about TFML is that she has not limited herself to commenting on the Mosley post, she has commented on some of our other posts as well, but her comments always deal with the same issue: her utter hatred of Terry Mosley.

According to TFML, Terry Mosley isn't a "Mosley" at all (although she is, apparently, Judge Mosley's baby mama). Terry had her name legally changed to Mosley, despite the fact that she never officially married the Judge.

At this point, you may be asking yourselves: "Who the *$%& cares?" Well, the reason we have shined the spotlight on our dear TFML is that she may have recently experienced an exciting triumph in her life. According to TFML, Terry Mosley has been arrested. From TFML's March 14th comment:

Good Job ~ Henderson Police Department.

Finally, law enforcement has picked up the infamous
Theresa (Terry) Figliuzzi Mosley....

Three arrest warrants were issued, and on Friday evening, March 13, 2009, Terry was handcuffed and booked into Henderson Detention, where she will appear in front of a Henderson Judge, Monday, March 16, 2009, in the afternoon ~ due to the hold that Clark County has on her, she will then be transported to Clark County Detention...

Who says Friday the 13th, is bad news!

Great Job ~ law enforcement! Remember she is an
xxxx girlfriend of a judge, NEVER THE WIFE of a judge....

What's that? You would like a more concrete source than the ranting of an anonymous commenter? Tough ... we couldn't find one. Also, a search of Google and the court calendars didn't turn up anything. However, we aren't about to deny TFML her day in the sun (even if it may be imagined). So, this post is for you, TFML - our favorite borderline-insane commenter.

UPDATE

The arrest of Terry Mosley has been confirmed. She was arrested for felony theft and writing multiple bad checks. TFML - we are sorry we ever doubted you sweetheart.