It is almost time for dinner on Festivus. That means that the time for the Airing of Grievances is near.
I'll start.
To the person who said I got a hydrocolonic for a bonus, I don't like you.
To the person(s) who request to see my tits on a regular basis - I'm pretty sure that you are law students who aren't getting any, but that sort of attitude is not going to serve you well in later life when I'm your boss and you can't stop staring at my perky bosom. You're going to get labeled the creepy associate and then I'll push for you to be fired. Me > You = I win. (And take note that no one ever asks Joe to whip it out. Show some class.)
To the commenters who are really obsessed with Miley. You have no shot regardless of if it works out with her and Eviler Ed. I am guessing that you are the same boob-fixaters that say things about me. There are lady lawyers and judges and it is about time to accept that some of us are really smoking hot.
To the commenters to who hate either LU or Shark Pimp - you do not like a little dose of reality, do you?
Wow. I feel a lot better. It's your turn now. Please take to the comments to air your grievances. I know, I know, I suck. Girls are dumb and have boobies and you want to see them, but they won't let you. People who are smarter than you make you uncomfortable. Get it all out! Happy Festivus for the rest of us!
I really hope that you aren't anonymously tracking our identities for the the Bar or something, but I'm naming names.
ReplyDeleteMy grievance is for Teddy Parker. Please turn your ringer OFF during meetings, special master hearings, etc. Put it on silent, just like everyone else and check it when the light blinks. Please.
Wow, that's the only problem you have with Teddy?
ReplyDeleteThat is the only problem I can specify without fearing that someone will figure out who I am and then I will get fired and have a really shitty Festivus.
ReplyDeleteSorry, but this holiday is [b-boop boop boop] out there.
ReplyDeleteWow, way to chill expression. If you can't take the heat, get out of the gossip business.
ReplyDeleteAre the ATMS associates stoked for their big party in the basement tomorrow?
ReplyDeleteTeddy just wants people to know how important he is. (And Elle, we would all like to see your boobs.)
ReplyDeleteTeddy represents subcontactors in CD cases. How can he take himself that seriously?
ReplyDeleteHow can any CD attorney (especially those who represent a subcontractor) take themselves seriously? Do you actually need a law license to push paper?
ReplyDeleteNo more than you need a law license to extort $ out of insurance companies on BS, trumped-up PI claims. Which, I guess, means "yeah, you need a license."
ReplyDelete11:49 sounds like just another hater who's jealous of CD attorneys making who get to litigate in jeans rather than having to dress to impress sub-literate malingerers who choose their counsel from the ads on the back of the bus...
An interview for a CD attorney.
ReplyDeleteCD Firm: Do you know how to state your name on the record?
CD Attorney: Yes.
CD Firm: Are you comfortable with standing in the corner during oral arguments trying not to been seen?
CD Attorney: Yes!!!
CD Firm: Do you understand that CD attorneys are to be seen and not to be heard?
CD Attorney: Yes!!!
CD Firm: Congratulations! Sounds like you're overqualified for the job. Now go sit in a deposition and eat some bagels...but remember not to say anything.
Troy Fox please stop winning cases against me.
ReplyDeleteFrom: Boyd Student
ReplyDeleteTo: All Boyd Law School Professors
I know that you think you're making a difference in the world when you choose to preach your political opinions about everything from Bush is the devil to healthcare to immigration, but would you please STFU? We students are sick of listening to you bitch and moan and try to convert students to your way of thinking.
Please do us all a favor and do your job. Teach the material and stop spouting your stupid rhetoric and regurgitating your liberal talking points.
Nobody wants to speak up in class because they don't want to be singled out come grading time, but in the spirit of festivus please keep your stupid opinions to yourself because we're sick of hearing them.
Show me your bewbies Troy Fox!!!
ReplyDeleteConstruction defect law in Las Vegas is funny. The damages are always due to "water intrusion". Where's all this water coming from? I don't see any. This is the dryest spot on Earth and everyone's complaining about water intrusion. We could use a little water intrusion.
ReplyDeleteF*cked up! But it makes the mortgage payments for lots of really bad lawyers. I mean some real mouth-breathers.
Yes, thank you to construction defect for creating jobs for attorneys in Las Vegas and helping to support the local economy.
ReplyDelete(On a side note, you "mouth breathers" really need to start taking it easy with the free food. We might need to petition the "Biggest Loser" to host a speciall for the CD bar.)
Sadly, Elle wants her bosom on everyone's mind and rather than admit it, she cloaks her desires in words to the contrary. Why else would she prattle on and publicize what she purportedly wishes would cease?
ReplyDeleteI watched a 1/2 hour of a CD case in Williams' court one time. Awful.
11:49 here.
ReplyDeleteI am definitely not a hater and actually have a much better existence than I would as CD attorney. I am also not an ambulance chasing PI lawyer.
While there are some good people who do CD work, they are the exception rather than the norm. There are definitely worse ways to make a living, but definitely a lot better.
I really don't know Teddy, so can't personally comment on him. My point was that if you are subcontractor CD attorney, you aren't exactly a baller, so you shouldn't be fronting. I hope I got my street lingo right there.
Actually, I am 11:49. You were 10:15. :)
ReplyDeleteTeddy's not a baller?
ReplyDeleteI love Teddy Parker.
ReplyDeleteWhile he will never admit it, I have seen Teddy lose in two "dance offs."
ReplyDelete