Yesterday, an astute comment declared that the members of the family bar are bottom feeders.
Later in the day, I overheard a conversation in which someone stated that person was wrong and that CD defense attorneys are truly bottom feeders.
In response, another said that if you appear in Justice Court more than three times a year on a civil matter, you're a bottom feeder.
Here's your chance. The one you've all been waiting for. Which members of the bar are the true bottom feeder? Let's act like lawyers and give reasons for our bold assertions. A pox on the first person to mention Troy Fox.
Construction defect defense are pretty bad. I am glad to have gotten out of that. After making a spirited argument for a motion to dismiss, one of my colleagues asked me "why do you even want a dismissal, don't you want the work?"
ReplyDeleteInteresting. We as attorneys are to, "act like lawyers and give reasons for our bold assertions," as to whom the bottom feeders are in our profession?
ReplyDeleteSeems a bit like pedophiles deciding by degree who among them deserves to be shot first.
We should all be honest and acknowledge that lawyers are bottom feeders. Thus, I wallow in self loathing everyday.
I am not entirely sure what a bottom feeder is supposed to be. The definition is not helpful. All attorneys on the litigation and bankruptcy side of things are profiting off the misfortune of others - as is a surgeon working in the ER at UMC. So what? Citizen Joe needs help. Citizen Joe finds Attorney Bob to help him. Joe pays Bob. Bob goes to court and does whatever is needed to help Joe. (In Bankruptcy court one argues law and facts; in state court one pulls a monkey out of the box and plays the accordion while it dances to the judge's delight.)
ReplyDeleteWhere's the problem?
Kenny Guinn is dead.
ReplyDelete12:53 PM - So what. He was a true bottom feeder his whole life. Suckling off the teet of the public, in office and out.
ReplyDeleteI do hear he was a nice guy though. If I am to be robbed, let him be tall, handsome and kind.
"In a wreck? You need a check!" Case closed.
ReplyDeleteTo be sure, there are some fine attys that practice family law. Unfortunately I also think that there are too many "retail" attys that see it as a way to make $$ from people that are often in desperate straights. They take silly, uber aggressive positions simply b/c the client tells them to regardless of the truth or legal merit. Lets face it, most contested divorces are all about extracting a pound of flesh from the soon to be ex rather than the facts or whats best for the family. When an atty becomes a puppet for the client, you are a bottom feeder unworthy of the title of atty. Yes I know I need spell check.
ReplyDeleteAwww, now that it is open season and a chance to hurl insults at one another, you are all being nice. You guys are great.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to have to agree with 1:29. The only bottom-feeders are attorneys who aren't attorneys at all, just mouthpieces for their client's idiotic claims or defenses.
ReplyDeleteThere is absolutely nothing wrong with practicing law in Justice Court. Shockingly, not everyone can afford $250/hour for a $7,000 case. But their damages are real, and they frequently need someone willing to, dare I say it, represent them. It's the practice of law.
There is absolutely nothing wrong with practicing law in Family Court. Again, these are people who need competent legal representation.
The only scumsuckers in our profession are the ones who are too lazy, stupid, or arrogant to actually represent their clients and instead call it in day after day after day, all the while still collecting their fee.
Be competent, be professional, or GTFO. That is all.
Just to bring this full circle: Senior Judges sitting in family court are bottom feeders.
ReplyDeletePersonally, I think the bottom feeders are those attorneys who are suddenly hanging up signs for loan modifications, and then charging the clients over a $1,000 to represent them in a mediation. Anyone who has been to one of these mediations can vouch that there is no "negotiating" that goes on. The bank makes and offer and the homeowner either accepts or declines the offer.
ReplyDeleteAnd the absolute worst are those that send advertisments to homeowners who are known to have just received a Notice of Default....umm can anyone say violation of ethical rules?
Dean White 350K-to encourage taxpayer funded student loan debt.
ReplyDeleteBottom feeders of criminal defense are those SOBs who take $25,000 from an indiget defendant's family for representation at a preliminary hearing, and then promptly dump the case on the pd's office for trial -- usually without having done any investigation or real work on the case. If the judges had any balls, and if they weren't getting most of their campaign contributions from these useless fucks, they would make the attorney stay on the case until the end.
ReplyDelete@Elle Woods, Esq.
ReplyDeleteHurl insults? Ok you hussy! Your impudence disgusts me, with you pink outfits and your perfectly coifed hair. It drives me mad. . .
. . .Yet strangely I am drawn to your broad curvaceousness, and washer woman hands. Your heavy brow all the while appealing to my desire for an androgynous coupling.
Love me?
@3:34 Bazinga! You do know how to make a lady feel pretty...
ReplyDeleteAs long as Adam Stokes is around, everyone else has to settle for second from the bottom.
ReplyDelete2:27 Our office charges $2,000 for the mediation and if necessary $1,500 for the petition for judicial review. While it is true that there is no negotiating going on in there, in spite of best efforts, the reality is an attorney is necessary to follow scrupulously the rules and make sure that the client gets a meaningful mediation and if not can file for bad faith against the bank. To do so, requires time meeting with each client, discussing their finances, assisting with completion of the financial disclosure forms [especially if a person is self-employed] and making sure everything is in in a timely manner. I respectfully disagree with you, because I think $2,000 that our office charges is a bargain based on the work we do and the results we have gotten. To date I have been 100% successful in getting permanent loan mods or findings of bad faith supported by the Court.
ReplyDelete@3:58
ReplyDeletebwahahahahahahahahahaha
Agree whole-heartedly with 1:29.
ReplyDeleteWell said sir/madam.
@3:58.
ReplyDeleteYou're a bottom feeder. You should know instantly from your client's financials if they are even a candidate for a loan mod. Charging $2,000 is ridiculous, especially when your presence at a mediation is completely unnecessary.
In terms of the bottom feeding practices, I think that's unfair in general. You need to pinpoint the actual bottom feeding attorneys. If you talk about the areas of practice that take the least amount of skill, I'd rank them as follows:
1. Traffic Ticket attorney;
2. Small Claims Creditor Work (form paralegal work);
3. Chapter 7 Bankruptcy (form paralegal work);
4. CD (subcontractor defense);
5. Residental Landlord/Tenant;
6. Soft Tissue Personal Injury;
7. Premises Liability; and
8. everything else
@2:27p re post-NOD solicitations:
ReplyDeleteI've had clients come to me who received an advertisement for loan modification from H&K within a week or two after the NOD on their home was filed. When they went in they clearly couldn't afford the home meaning a loan mod was out of the question, and were sent over to the BK dept.
H&K has a licensed loan mod entity sharing space and I'm assuming some personnel with the BK division. I wonder how many people receive loan mod solicitations, come in because of it, and are shuffled to the BK dept?
I'd say that if the numbers are as I expect, then yes it is definitely an ethical violation.
At a recent 341 meeting, the H&K appearance lackey was 'scolded' for his firm's practice of having a non-attorney intake staff member determine that someone needed to file a Chapter 13 to stop their foreclosure, even when they're on unemployment and clearly can't afford the house. According to that trustee, apparently he and some other trustees have been talking about H&K's practice of doing that, with what impliedly is an attempt at milking more cash from debtors, and potential UPL issues with their staff.
Hmmm......
Bottom feeders = lawyers who advertise on craigslist
ReplyDelete3:58 = Robert Flummerfelt, a bottom feeder who advertises loan modifications on craigslist. Check out his craigslist advertisement, he says he's "been 100% successful, yes, that is right, 100% successful in helping people save their homes through the Nevada Foreclosure Mediation Program." In his post at 3:58, he also says, "To date I have been 100% successful in getting permanent loan mods or findings of bad faith supported by the Court."
5:31 PM - Fuck you.
ReplyDeleteFamily law does seem to involve less in the way of facts & law, and more - as 12:51 puts it - pulling a monkey out of the box and playing the accordion while it dances to the judge's delight. It's a unique specialty, not to be undertaken lightly, as a wise senior partner once told me, "if it's 2% of your practice, it's 50% of your aggravation." But that doesn't mean family law attorneys are feeding from the bottom any more so than any of the rest of us. People need help of various kinds, that may include competent legal help for specific problems - as 2:11 points out. To paraphrase Lenny Bruce, if everything in the world was peachy-keen lawyers would be on the unemployment line right behind Dr. Salk and the Lone Ranger.
ReplyDeleteWhat about Jones Vargas? They feed off the Clark County tax payers and have offered zero benefit in two cases (RJC and Airport)
ReplyDeleteOther bottom feeders? Civil attorneys who take criminal cases. Why? They charge a fee for less experience than the public defender can offer.
Why are subcontractor CD defense counsel getting a bad rap?? I understand the general mantra...we didn't do it, we want to take lots of depos, we can send 1st year attorneys to run up the fees until it is really time to settle the matter for 2x what the true exposure is....
ReplyDeleteBut aren't the plaintiff guys/gals that are walking the poor neighborhoods of North LV telling the homeowner on welfare that they should join their Chapter 40 lawsuit and get big bucks because the house is obviously defective, despite being lived in for 8-10 years worse than the defense counsel?
I guess I have seen too many questionable defect actions brought by factory firms that get the same "expert" whores to allege that the heating duct that has worked for 8 years is defective because it wasn't properly strapped down turn into a $300K defect action when the house isn't work $150K.
Now, if you want to bash contractor/developer defense counsel I can think of two firms that are on the top of by bottom list.
@10:02
ReplyDeleteKevin Helm is a bottom feeding CD subcontractor defense attorney. FYI - you can require your associates to bill 2400 hours a year because all they do is eat donuts during depos and stand in the corner at hearings.
The rest of the minions that make up the CD bar are a joke in terms of their legal ability and skill. Watching a CD attorney take a deposition is an exercise in what not to do.
Still, simply being unskilled at anything other than overbilling clients and standing in the corner
doesn't make you a bottom feeder. I agree the loan mod attorneys deserve that honor right now.
dayvid figlers picture was in the dictionary I checked
ReplyDeleteAny one doing defense work on personal injuries cases please stand up and receive your well deserve award WOW Award. (Worse of the Worse.)
ReplyDeleteLionel and S may not be bottom feeders but they are well fed by the same slime you find at the bottom.
ReplyDelete@9:12,
ReplyDeleteSame could be said of the scuzzy PI lawyers who won't tell their client "no, your claim isn't worth $10 million. You're an alcoholic who was so drunk you stumbled on a non-existent bump in the casino carpet and broke your nose by falling into a non-defective slot machine."
Harris sleeps with the sheep in the barn. Hookin up with Nancy would be bottom feeding for sure. Josh is the biggest idiot ever. Must run in the family.
ReplyDeleteBeen out of town since Thursday evening, hence just getting back now.
ReplyDelete5:31 and 8:28
Thanks for the love. May I consider you my BFF(s)? RJBF
2:27 here...sorry I was practicing "real law" and didn't have time to respond
ReplyDelete@3:58 - I'm sorry but I think you are a bottom feeder. The financial disclosure "worksheets" that you talk of are 3 pages, fill in the blanks with their expenses. For self-employed people, past two years worth of tax returns and a simple 3 line profit and loss statement...it's really not that hard. As far as seeking bad faith...the mediation rules are pretty straight forward. The bank must bring certain documents (original or certified copy of deed etc) and make a good faith attempt to negotiate. Usually the mediations are over well within 1hr.
I know this....b/c I too used to be a bottom feeder. Oh and we would only charge the clients $1500....and it was still a rip off
The only exception MAYBE if the client has MERS....but chances are you have no idea what that is, or how it affects the mediation. Once again, you are a bottom feeder
Wow 11:50, 3:58 here, - I honestly think you need intensive individualized psychotherapy.
ReplyDeleteYou have huge issues which need to be addressed. I am sorry that you are so internally conflicted and feel a need to attack me; it's pretty sad and pathetic frankly. Here's to seeing you on the other side of therapy. Maybe you will learn how to effectively interact with others; you can call me a BF all the time - it doesn't affect me - I think it is pretty funny actually. But your comments indicate a serious pathology which you need to have addressed. I wonder if you grew up in a home with an alcoholic parent or seriously emotionally abusive parent. Something ain't right there pal.
Bottom Feeder out.
@ 12:06/3:58, 11:50 here
ReplyDeleteHaha I love how you attack me with nothing but blanket assertions without actually addressing anything I said. Just because you were mad that the only firm that would hire you was one in which no legal knowledge or expertise is required is nothing to get all bent out of shape about.
Now go do your homework, google MERS and recent nevada cases on the subject (I know it must be difficult to do considering your firm probably doesn't "waste" its money on westlaw or lexis....I mean who needs to know the law to do modifications), and maybe, just maybe, your clients will get a fraction of what they are paying for.
I repeat what I said at 12:06. Thanks - I'm fully aware of what MERS is Atty. in need of psychotropic medication.
ReplyDeleteIt will be okay, you just need a few months in intensive therapy and maybe then you will have a breakthrough.
wow is that your best response when challenged? Instead of trying to competently show why you are not a bottom feeder, you resort to asserting that I need therapy? I hope you don't do that in court...oh wait, you don't go to court. My bad. I forgot.
ReplyDelete11:06 - No I am not trying to fight with you, you actually DO NEED therapy for real. It is obvious.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I am in court literally every day, so I don't know what you are talking about.
Your obsession with not being considered a bottom feeder is unhealthy and demonstrates a serious lack of emotional maturity, integration and self-esteem in your life.
I think you are missing the whole point of my replies to you. You are mentally ill and NEED HELP. Duh this is beyond your little comments about bottom feeders, you are sick and your obsessive-compulsive need to argue a point that I don't even care about indicates your serious pathology.
Get HELP! For real! It is not healthy or normal to get into a fight over who is a bottom feeder.
I bet many people around you think you need therapy but because you argue matters to death won't say anything, well, I am saying something. See this as a wake up call, you NEED HELP and THERAPY pal.
gosh dang it, I forgot the first rule to arguing, you can't argue logic with someone who can't think logically. So, instead I must drop down to your level....but I don't want to be a bottom feeder, so instead, I'm going to sit here on high horse in my psychologically impaired world commonly referred to others as "success"
ReplyDelete9:58 - you are funny. Mental illness is great; your judgment is so clouded you think you are successful too. I don't even know what you are arguing about. I don't care if you call me a bottom feeder; perhaps you didn't read that. Oh, I forgot, I'm speaking to the Guru of Success. Reading is not required. Have a great day crazy success person. You are my new hero; I have a special place in my heart for crazy whackjobs. Crazies like you make the world go round and provide ample work for attorneys. Thanks!
ReplyDeleteShut the fuck up all you cock sucking whiney bitches. Get a life.
ReplyDelete@ 10:51--kevin helm is absolutely the worst of the worst, in every possible way.
ReplyDelete2:27 I almost agree with you but you may want to take a look at the ethics code again. I don't think it's an ethics violation because of the time sensative nature of the situation.
ReplyDeleteWho is Kevin Helm?
ReplyDelete