Best place to work in Vegas poll

Editor's Note:

The firms/businesses/offices chosen for the current poll "What is the best [legal practice] place to work in the Vegas Valley?" were selected from the best known legal offices in Vegas and nominations submitted to our Friday post asking for suggestions.

If there's a firm that should have been included, please post write in votes as comments to this post.*

* In addition, if there's a firms that should have been included, it means you need to read the blog more often and contribute. Shame on you.

Vegas law = Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap

The votes are in for Poll#1: What should be the Theme Song for Legal Practice in Vegas?

And the winner is . . . "Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap" by AC/DC with 38% of the vote [results at the bottom of this page].

We have to admit there's a certain poetry to Sin City law's theme song focusing on murder for hire.

And the song even has a stanza for the family law practitioner:

You got a lady and you want her gone/huh, huh, huh, huh
But you ain't got the guts/huh, huh, huh
She keeps naggin' at you night 'n' day/huh, huh, huh, huh
Enough to drive you nuts/huh, huh, huh, huh
Pick up the phone, leave her alone/huh, huh, huh, huh
It's time you made a stand/huh, huh, huh, huh
For a fee, I'm happy to be
Your back door man, hey

For those of you unfamiliar with the song, we've included a video:

Health Insurance Benefits at Vegas Valley Firms

Last week, we asked readers to write in and share the details of the health insurance benefits at their law firms. Below, you will find the first draft of a spreadsheet detailing the insurance benefits at firms around Las Vegas and Henderson.

Editor's Note: WWL tried to confirm the benefit information we received with the law firms' managing partner or human resources dept (information in bold has been confirmed). Some firms refused to share their information, which WWL thinks is a poor decision as offering good benefits to employees is a recruiting tool and marketing device.

So here is WWL's first health insurance benefit spreadsheet. Please feel free to email us at nevadalegal@gmail.com with corrections.

The Enforcer goes easy on retiree [and does not hand out condoms]

Certain Judges have temperaments/personalities that make them stand out from the rest of their fellow judiciary members. Take Judge Bruce Markell for example.

The legend of Judge Markell's intimidating style has only grown since he was appointed to the bench in 2004. Among members of the Bankruptcy bar, Judge Markel is known for his sharp questions and his tendency to cut off counsel if he doesn't like the direction oral argument is headed. He is also considered to be a fierce enforcer of procedural rules and is even rumored to have once sanctioned an attorney to take a bankruptcy class at Boyd School of Law.

Given Judge Markell's enforcer reputation, WWL was eagerly anticipating the judge's hearing this morning in the USA Capital bankruptcy case. A Boulder City retiree appeared at a hearing this morning to answer for why he referred in pleadings to the Bankruptcy Court as a "brothel," called Bankruptcy Judge Linda Riegle a "madam" and said the judge "pays the working girls and provides the condoms." (RJ)

Turns out, Judge Markell can be a big softy. We here at WWL were expecting the judge to jail the retiree, order a public flogging or order the man to write an apology letter to every member of the bankruptcy bar. Nope. Judge Markell didn't even refer the man for criminal contempt of court. (RJ) Not sure what's got the judge in such a forgiving mood today, but we want our enforcer back.

The Legal Economy: a View from Boyd Career Services

With all the discussions about the economy and how it's affecting hiring, WWL thought it would check in with the person who gets paid to keep an eye on the legal economy in Vegas: Cynthia Asher, Director of Career Services for UNLV's Boyd School of Law.

We asked her a few questions and she was kind enough to give us her thoughts:

What's your take on the state of the legal economy in Las Vegas?

The LV legal market as a whole has slowed down along with the rest of the economy but we seem to be doing better than the primary markets. We've
seen some layoffs and movement between firms but nothing like what we've seen in
CA, for example. Some practice areas are at a standstill but we're seeing a lot
of job postings by personal injury and insurance defense firms.

How are recent Boyd graduates doing finding work in the current market?

We're still getting in data on this year's graduating class at Boyd but the
numbers appear to be right on track with last year's placement numbers. We'll
know for certain in February (the deadline for reporting placement data to NALP)
so please check back with me then and I'll be happy to share them. The number of
judicial clerkship placements for the Class of 2009 came up a bit with a few
more federal court placements than in prior years.

[Editor's note: according to Boyd's website, the Class of 2008 had a 93.6% employment rate 9 mo. after graduating with 77.9% having a job offer before graduation; 83% of the 2008 class was employed in Nevada (stats here thanks to Anon)]

Has Boyd's jump in US News rankings opened the doors to more employers or new markets for Boyd students?

I think it's too early to know if our improved US News ranking will cause
out-of-state employers to take notice. Larger out-of-state employers in the
region already interview on-campus but I'm interested in seeing if some of the
smaller firms start to do so as well. For the 2009-10 year, we are focusing our
efforts on creating opportunities for Boyd students outside of the state
(Portland, Seattle, SLC, Sacramento, Denver, etc.).

Seems like the verdict's still out on how hard it's been for 2009 Boyd grads to find work, but those looking for work should have take heart. Apparently, the inability of Vegas drivers to drink coffee, change the radio station, text their friend and drive all at the same time means personal injury and insurance defense firms are still hiring.

Nominations for Poll #2

By reader request, our second poll will ask:

What is the best [legal practice] place to work in the Vegas Valley?

So please post all your nominations to the comments section. Nominations can include law firms, government, in-house counsel positions at a business, etc. Current nominations are:
Lews & Roca
Rooker Rawlins
U.S. Attorney's Office

Nominate away. The poll will be posted early next week with your nominations.

Dating Files: Lawyers really know how to treat a lady

As a woman, dating lawyers has its ups and downs. You might catch a hot Plaintiff's attorney rolling in cash who takes you out to Tao for dinner before going to Pure or the Bank and paying for bottle service. Or, you might catch a new associate so bogged down in student debt that he can only afford to treat at In N' Out.

Even better, you might end up with this attorney, who was discussed on a craigslist personal ad [post has now been flagged and removed]:

He was a lawyer that I met through Craigslist. I went to his place and we watched some Aqua Team Hunger Force DVDs, then had some frozen pizza for dinner before hooking up.

If anyone can identify the Don Juan whose moves are discussed above, please let us know. There are many women in this town dying to be treated to an amazing night of cartoons and frozen pizza.

Lewis and Roca's Hiring [if you have 28 yrs experience]

Lewis and Roca is apparently still willing to spend a little money in this economy. (PR).

They recently stole Gregory P. Giordano away from his position as a gaming partner with Snell & Wilmer. Not a bad piece of equipment to buy, L&R. They do say those willing to spend in an economic downturn will be strongest when the economy levels out.

But it makes us wonder, how are the job prospects in this economy for partners looking to lateral? Any tips readers?

Masters of the Universe: Labor and Employment law

Living amongst us mere mortals, there are some attorneys that have become so skilled in a particular area of law that they are pronounced Masters of the Universe. Like Prince Adam's transformation in to He-man at the first sign of trouble, these legal giants race to the rescue of well-paying clients when civil litigation arises.

This week Human Resource Executive Online identified the most powerful labor and employment attorneys in the country, outing these Masters of the Universe as the mental muscle heads that they are:

Gregory E. Smith of Lionel Sawyer was named the 10th most powerful labor attorney in the nation (Top 10 of Labor Law)

Gary C. Moss of Jackson Lewis was named one of the top 100 most powerful employment attorneys in the nation (Top 100 in Employment)

Congratulations to the Masters. May they always use their powers for good and the protection of . . . um . . . corporations against their employees.

Anyone Have A Life Raft?

It looks like quite a few associates over at the slowly sinking ship S.S. Alverson Taylor Mortensen & Sanders are singing "We're Not Gonna Take It Anymore." We have received numerous tips stating that morale is at an all-time low, and at least 8 associates are actively looking to jump ship, some with many years invested with the firm.

According to the tips, ATMS put on quite the whiteboard presentation for incoming associates to justify their comparatively low "salaries" (read: hourly pay). Previously, ATMS has justified their $78,000 base by including raises, 401K matching and insurance coverage into the calculation, and telling associates that when all this is taken into consideration, ATMS is on par with other (higher paying) firms in the valley.

Well, that has changed now, and some ATMS associates are feeling a bit betrayed. Here's how the cuts went down, according to one source:

When they announced the pay freeze a couple months ago, all of the groups (partners) met with their associates and support staff and explained why the freeze was being instituted. In my group and many of the other groups, the question was asked whether any other cuts would be happening, and the answer was NO. Re-read the email from Bruce's secretary....it says that "many other options were considered, but this was the one chosen [pay freezes]..." 

Two days later, we got an email saying that our 401k match was suspended. Some of us again asked if this was the last cut, and again were told that yes, this is the only thing and that our insurance was not going to be changed. Two months later, we get another email informing us that we no longer have insurance. If you're going to do it, have the balls to tell people to their face when they ask you a yes or no question. Don't look them in the eye and tell them that no more changes are coming, then send an f-ing email two days later.
It's chicken shit at best.

Things have apparently gotten so bad that a group of associates has set up an anonymous email account for employers who may have openings for ATMS refugees. Any employers interested in hiring ATMS associates are asked to send an email to: lookingforgreenergrass@gmail.com.

We're certainly not an employment service, but this got us thinking. There are open positions out there somewhere, and with the recent carnage in the legal market we think it may be good to do a little "who's hiring" roll call. So, does anyone know of any open positions out there? Let us know in the comments. We're sure that any former ATMS, KKBRF, Jones Vargas, Ballard Spahr, Santoro Driggs, or Brownstein Hyatt associates would appreciate it (not to mention victims of smaller firm "cutbacks" and recent Boyd School of Law grads without jobs). 

Let's see what our collective WWL hive-mind can come up with for these unfortunate souls.

(Thanks tipsters!)

Friday Poll: Theme Song for Legal Practice in Vegas

We're trying out a few new things here on WWL. One of them is posting polls on issues from time to time. So here is a light-hearted one to start:

What would be the theme song for legal practice in Vegas?

Post your nominations in the comments section and we'll put up a poll next week.

Early suggestions from the WWL staff:
"Breaking the Law" by Judas Priest
"Against the Law" by Woody Guthrie
"California Sex Lawyer" by Fountains of Wayne
"The Trial" by Pink Floyd
"Love Me Good Like a Lawyer" by T. Bone Pickens

Is Wearing Boxers on Your Head the New Thing for the Stylish Criminal?

The Vegas Valley has added a new criminal to its oddball collection: The Boxer Bandit (video available at NBC News 3). The man robbed 4 convenience stores in east Henderson at gunpoint while wearing plaid [hopefully clean] boxers on his head and looking out the pee[p] hole.

While we would normally applaud the robber's unique style (see naked bus-jacker), it turns out the Henderson Boxer Bandit is merely following the new stylish trend in crime: wearing underwear over your face.

The trend setter appears to have been a Pensacola, Florida criminal, who robbed a convenience store in October 2007 with boxers over his head. (CBS-Pensacola). The trend then spread north to Boston, Massachusetts where a man started robbing stores at knife point while wearing white boxers over his head (ABC-Boston). Now the stylish look appears to have spread west. We can only hope it catches on with the same popularity as prison tattoos.

Health Insurance at firms

We recently posted about the decision by Alverson, Taylor, Mortensen & Sanders ("ATMS") to make Associates pay 50% of their individual health insurance costs [% of dependent cost unclear] (link here). Some commentators seemed to think ATMS arrangement wasn't so bad, others thought it was oppressive.

So we turn to you loyal readers and ask:

Does your firm provide health insurance? If so, how much do you kick in a month for yourself? and for dependents?

Please post the details of your firms' health benefits in the comment section and let the discussion begin.

* Note: we also want to hear from support staff out there. How are your health benefits?

Update: We are in the process of emailing firms to confirm their health insurance benefits for counsel and dependents. We will keep you updated.

Recession advertising hits the valley: 50% off lawyers

With the economy in a slump, many firms are trying different strategies to shore up their balance sheets: cheaper rates, cut associate salary/benefits and even rexamining the billable hour system. But where some see crisis, others see opportunity.

Enter legal marketing genius and Vegas attorney, Adam Stokes. Stokes was the original creator behind the Ticket Busters' business model (large quantity of small cases for small fees = big bucks) and he was the original owner of the 444-4444 number. Stokes sold both businesses to Richard Harris, along with some personal injury cases, reportedly for $4 Million. Not bad for three years of work (Stokes was admitted to the NV Bar in 2004).

Well, Stokes is back. He is soon to announce the opening of his next well-named business, Half Price Lawyers (http://www.halfpricelawyers.com/). Pretty smart marketing in this economy. Americans do love a bargain.

By the way, if you're reading this Mr. Stokes, we're looking for a Director of Marketing here at the blog.

(Thanks to M for the tip)

Ah, summertime and summer associate gossip

Congratulations to all you law students who just finished another year and are headed off to summer positions with firms in Vegas. In this economy, holding onto a paying summer position is a huge accomplishment.

But don't forget about us while you're busy clerking, interning, or spending your time as a summer associate. Send along any good tips, gossip or stories you hear about to nevadalegal@gmail.com.

We want to hear whether the firms are still spoiling you summer associates with nice lunches/dinners, casino spa days or drunken nights out. And we definitely want to hear about any hair-pulling or drunken come ons at the golf outing with senior partners.

KKBRF follow up

We had a lot of comments posted to the last post about Kummer Kaempfer Bonner Renshaw & Ferrario ("KKBRF"), so here is a follow up with details from the Las Vegas Sun:

• founding partner Thomas Kummeris is resigning for a job at Greenberg Traurig


• Managing Partner Michael Bonner is also out the door and over to Greenberg Traurig

The Sun also reports that "[s]everal staffers, lawyers and partners, including Bonner, will leave the firm in June" to join Greenberg Traurig, "which already had about 30 lawyers in Nevada". (LV Sun). KKBRF will now be steered by partner Bob Gronauer, who will become managing partner.

Apparently the split happened due to partner disagreements that led to the failed KKBRF merger with Greenberg Traurig.

Update (5/29/09): The split appears to be over the scope of KKBRF's practice:

“Some partners believed it would be in their best interest to join a large international firm where they would be exposed to a variety of cases throughout the United States,” said Bob Gronauer, who will take over as managing partner of Kummer Kaempfer. “There’s another group of partners who are of the opinion that they would chose to continue to represent clients in Nevada and regionally as Kummer Kaempfer has always done.” (LV Sun)

Best Circus in Town this Week: Aryan Warriors Trial

This best circus in town takes place over at the U.S. District Court of Nevada this week as a gang of criminal defense attorneys attempts to convince a jury that the Aryan Warriors gang isn't so bad, or at least not as bad as the Assistant U.S. Attorneys keep saying:

the Aryan Warriors are a criminal enterprise that preached white supremacy, assaulted inmates, dealt drugs and operated illegal gambling rings. They denied members corrupted guards and dominated Nevada prisons through intimidation and illegal money-making operations. (RJ)

Turns out, according to defense attorney Oswaldo Fumo, the Aryan Warriors aren't, you know, racists or anything. They're just white guys in prison who kind of banded together. [For Fumo's sake, I hope his client doesn't have a Aryan Warrior forehead tattoo or "SS" neck tattoo like the guy on the left. Fully visible nods to the Nazis tend to rub jurors the wrong way].

Alverson Taylor to make associates pay out of pocket for medical insurance

Perennial law firm sweatshop Alverson, Taylor, Mortensen & Sanders is apparently feeling the pinch of the decline in the economy. Oh what to do when profits are down?

Word is they're taking firm-paid medical insurance away from their associates and asking its attorneys to pay out of pocket.


Seems about right. Walmart does the same thing. Why shouldn't Alverson, Taylor? They are hourly employees after all.

While the economy's clearly putting pressure on all the firms in the Vegas Valley, it seems a little harsh to make your associates hourly workers, eliminate their 401k match and then eliminate their medical insurance.

What do you think readers? Fair or foul?

Lewis Brisbois, Now With 25% Less Fat!

Word on the street is that local insurance defense firm Lewis Brisbois Bisgaard & Smith just lost a quarter of their associates and one partner to Wilson Elser Moskowitz Edelman & Dicker. You may remember Lewis Brisbois as one of the firms on the defense end of The Endoscopy Center of Southern Nevada case.

The Las Vegas managing partner of Wilson Elser has reportedly been replaced by a partner from Lewis Brisbois. We are still working on getting the name of the former Lewis Brisbois partner/now managing partner for Wilson Elser. If you know who he/she is, or what happened, let us know in the comments. We want details people!

(Thanks, LE!)

What's Going On At KKBRF?

We've posted a few times about Nevada-based Kummer Kaempfer Bonner Renshaw & Ferrario, and chatter about the firm is picking up again.

According to rumors, Michael Bonner is making the jump to Greenberg Traurig, and he is taking a good portion of KKBRF's transactional associates with him.

Could this be the end result of the rumored merger between GT and KKBRF, or is KKBRF simply beginning to collapse? We know they recently lost one partner to Fox Rothschild, days after an event she was appearing at was pimped on the firm's blog. Things certainly don't look good.

An announcement from KKBRF is expected early this week. If you know anything, feel free to enlighten us in the comments.

(Thanks to our commenters & tipsters)

Ask The Shark Pimp - Part 3: The Finale

And now for the final installment of out interview with Jordan "Shark Pimp" Ross:

Do you think the recent BigLaw layoffs will send a flood of ivy league grads to Nevada in search of jobs? If so, how will this affect the legal market in Vegas?

Not that many. We have no reciprocity in Nevada and getting someone to move to Las Vegas is damn hard. Trust me; I know this better than anyone else.

What advice would you give to Boyd 1Ls, 2Ls, and 3Ls with regards to landing a job? Who is the most screwed out of that group?

3L’s are the most screwed if they're asking, because so much of what you need to do is too late by then. Listen carefully, here’s what you need to do, none of which is exciting or secret: 1) Stay sober. Drunk and stoned will not help your g.p.a. one bit. The nerd who thinks you’re an irresponsible jerk who parties too much will probably be in better shape than you at graduation. 2) Study like your life depends on it. I can not tell you how much your class rank counts and at Boyd if you place below the top 15% you don’t get ranked on your transcript (which I think is politically correct nonsense). So if you graduate in the top 16% for all a potential employer knows you graduated at the bottom of the class. 3) You need to do everything you can to summer between your 2nd and 3rd year. Job offers at graduation are much higher for this group. In general you need to work like a slave in a salt mine and be out in the legal community.

Do you still have attorneys coming to you looking to lateral, or is it mostly attorneys who have been laid off?

Both. If you have a job, do everything you can to hold on to it. Making a lateral move without a book of business is virtually impossible right now, so after you do everything your firm wants you to do each week, spend another 10-20 hours a week marketing to potential new clients.

In your opinion, what are the top 5 firms in town (taking into account salary, quality of life, benefits, and billables, if applicable)? The bottom 5?

The Shark Pimp fears nothing and no one. He answers questions with no care for the opinion or feelings of others leaving death, blood and destruction in his wake. Except those questions. What, are you nuts? Here’s your answers – the best firms are my clients, the worst firms aren’t.

Have associates lost the ability to negotiate for salary with firms?

They never really had it to begin with. Urban myth. Remember the boiler room in the movie Glengarry, Glen Ross? Leads are for closers. Well in legal salary negotiations, negotiations are for people with book. No book of business, no negotiation. Have a nice day.

We'd like to thank Mr. Ross for his time and frankness in responding to these questions. 

(Ross Legal Search, LLC)

Ask The Shark Pimp - Part 2: Feisty!

Today we continue with Part 2 of our interview with legal headhunter Jordan Ross:

Question 4:

Can you talk about negotiating pay with small firms that may not have set salary grades for incoming employees?

You can but unless you have something really valuable to bring to the table in this market, probably not, especially if you’re a junior associate. Keep in mind Boyd Law just put 142 competitors for your job onto the market.

How do you determine what is reasonable?

For a high volume commercial job it should at least be on a par with what Associates in the Civil Division of the Clark County District Attorneys Office earn. For general commercial jobs it’s reasonable to expect to be no more than 20% from the bottom of the salary range for your class among general commercial firms. For consumer jobs, I honestly don’t know how salary ranges are determined. But again, in this market, I wouldn’t push my luck. Be glad you paycheck doesn’t bounce.

Question 5:
What is your opinion of this article (from ATL):

Someone asked me about this recently. How many ways can I express how skuzzy and sleazy it is for a recruiter to take money from a candidate? And this is the Shark Pimp speaking, kids. No recruiter who belongs to NALSC (National Association of Legal Search Consultants) would do this; it’s a blatant violation of the NALSC Code of Ethics. Even without that, it’s an obvious conflict of interest in that the recruiter has a fiduciary duty to his or her clients; how can the client trust a candidate that’s promised the recruiter a kickback? And no professional search consultant in any industry with any dignity or respectability takes payment from a candidate. Even employment agencies that deal with non-exempt employees don’t do that except amongst the lowest of bottom feeders. If you are tempted to do this, you might consider paying a professional career counselor, but good ones are few and far between and they’re primarily of value to executives, not professionals.

Question 6:
How is your business model holding up under current economic conditions?

Fine, thanks for asking. From one perspective it hasn’t changed much for me personally. There is virtually no demand for candidates from search firms for Associates right now. I recently placed an Associate a few months ago, but frankly this was the first Associate I placed in over six years other than some Associates who came with a Partner or were outplaced (neither of which I’m compensated for). My practice has for many years, been predominately Partners and Of Counsel.

Has your fee changed at all due to the current economic climate?

No. Hey, you know what, let me say that again. No.

Stay tuned for our final installment of the Shark Pimp Trilogy, and feel free to post any follow-ups in the comments.

(Ross Legal Search, LLC)

Ask The Shark Pimp - Part 1: He's Alive!

Remember back in February when we asked you to submit your questions about the Nevada legal market for Jordan Ross (a.k.a. "The Shark Pimp") to answer? Well, we have finally received his responses, so all of you unemployed associates who were waiting for these answers may now continue your job searches. Here is Part 1 of our 3-month interview:

I’m glad to have another answer and question interview here at Wild Wild Law. I only regret that the circumstances couldn’t be better. I apologize for taking so long to get back to all the loyal readers here. I’ve been buried in work just trying to keep even with the market. The same is true of all professionals in this stressful market. With that in mind, let’s see what’s on everyone’s mind right now.

Question 1:

Do to the recession, some previously transactional-only associates have been "transitioned" to litigation. What kind of (if any) opportunities exist for these associates to transition back to transactional work if/when the economy rebounds? If you practice litigation for a few years, are you pigeon-holed a litigator?

Moving practice type (as opposed to practice area) is difficult to do in the first place and frequently you find yourself losing your seniority in the process. That loss of seniority may involve your taking a so called “haircut” (which means a cut in salary to a more junior year). However it’s not as challenging as changing your practice area. So if you were to for example move from Real Estate Transactions to Real Estate Litigation or perhaps switch from Corporate Transactions to Commercial Litigation, while you need to understand this is no walk in the park, the transition is relatively intuitive.

On the other hand if you move from say, Franchise Law Transactions to Intellectual Property Litigation, the transition is going to be a lot more difficult. The whole process may in fact set you back or make it difficult to return to your old practice.

Having said all of this, it’s a very different situation when your existing firm encourages you to transition your practice. They will probably be much more receptive to your moving back when times get better. And if they are trying to get you to change, be opened minded – this may the signal that they can’t feed your current practice and a change in practice may be needed to keep your job.

Question 2:

From your perspective, how bad are things in the Nevada legal market?

Bad.

Don’t be a smart ass. How Bad?

As I’ve said in the past, unlike the general economy in Southern Nevada which is directly driven by the gaming industry, the legal economy is driven largely by the real estate industry. Now, that’s not an absolute statement, but in general it’s very accurate.

With the slowdown in the very high rates of emigration to Nevada and the collapse of real estate prices, eventually the industry will run out its excess inventory both residential and commercial probably at about the same time the entire global economy recovers. But I don’t see full recovery until around January 2011.

Question 3:

Do you think that government jobs are a better bet in this market because of the job security they (may) offer?

If they have no food in the refrigerator and kids to feed, I’m not going to tell someone to pass on a public sector job. But for the attorneys I deal with, commercial practitioners, try to avoid that. When things recover, it will not be an asset to have that on your resume. Moving to a private sector job could be a one way trip. Most such hiring is frozen right now anyway. One Chief Deputy District Attorney told me that Clark County has never seen so many attorney resumes.

If you can keep yourself from tying that noose for another couple days, stay tuned for Part 2 of the interview.

(Ross Legal Search, LLC)

Fogetaboutit

Harrah's Entertainment has hired former waste management attorney Timothy R. Donovan as senior vice president and general counsel. "Waste management," eh? Interesting. From the RJ:

The 53-year-old Donovan received his law degree from Capital University in Columbus, Ohio, after completing his undergraduate degree at Ohio State University.

Capital University - A very respectable mob law school, we're sure.

Donovan previously worked for Phoenix-based Allied Waste Industries as executive vice president and general counsel, where he was presumably in charge of either stabbing people with ice picks or digging holes.

Donovan "replaced" Steve Brammell, who had been Harrah's general counsel since 1999 ... may he rest in peace.

(LVRJ; Thanks, asdf)

With Souter Out, Could Rawlinson Be In?

Now that Justice Souter has announced his retirement, could President Obama possibly nominate 9th Circuit Judge (and former Clark County Assistant DA) Johnnie B. Rawlinson to fill his seat? MSNBC seems to think it is a possibility, as they have placed Rawlinson on their short list of possible replacements.

If the President is going to fish in the 9th Circuit for this nomination, we would prefer that he cast his line a little more to the right and go with the real pick ... Bybee.

However, as we all know, this nominee is going to be chosen based upon what they have between their legs, not their ears. This anonymous commenter on the ATL post about Souter's replacement pretty much nailed it:

It is undeniable that a vagina is a primary qualification for the SCOTUS. That just makes sense. However, some women have a condition called didelphic uterus, which results in - wait for it - TWO vaginas.

http://www.thesun.co.uk/sol/homepage/woman/real_life/article344794.ece

Can you imagine the power of a two-vaginaed Justice? She would be undefeatable in the political correctness rock-paper-scissor calculations made in modern liberal thought, where her double barreled crotch shotgun would double not only her female qualifications, but perhaps even count as a physical disability. Can you imagine?! Better still, if we were able to find such a woman who was of a pre-approved minority (African-American, Hispanic, and/or Native American), her qualifications would stack up like some sort of fucking appointee Voltron.

I hereby petition Obama to divert all funds not previously diverted from National Defense into searching for such a candidate and, if possible, somehow wrestling her overpowered frame into a cage for shipment to the SCOTUS.

Please Note: We are in no way insinuating that Judge Rawlinson has two hoo-hoos ... just that it may help her chances of securing the nomination if she does.

(MSNBC; ATL; SCOTUS Blog; Voltron; Thanks, Sl)